1 00:00:02,872 --> 00:00:05,005 I'M GONNA SACK YOU SO HARD YOUR DICK'S GONNA GO 2 00:00:05,048 --> 00:00:07,616 INTO YOUR THROAT AND YOU'RE GONNA CHOKE ON YOUR DICK AND DIE. 3 00:00:07,659 --> 00:00:09,052 GO GO GO! 4 00:00:09,096 --> 00:00:10,706 TWIST LEFT, TWIST LEFT, TWIST LEFT. 5 00:00:10,749 --> 00:00:12,577 I SAID TWIST LEFT, LARRY. LISTEN! 6 00:00:12,621 --> 00:00:16,538 BLUE 16! BLUE 16! 7 00:00:16,581 --> 00:00:19,106 SET, HUT HUT! 8 00:00:19,149 --> 00:00:22,065 - GET HIM, GET HIM! 9 00:00:22,109 --> 00:00:23,806 GET ON HIM! 10 00:00:34,425 --> 00:00:36,732 IT'S JUST PRACTICE, MAN. GO DOWN! 11 00:00:36,775 --> 00:00:39,778 - GO DOWN, SON, GO DOWN. - CAN'T GO DOWN! 12 00:00:39,822 --> 00:00:43,043 TOO... AWESOME. 13 00:00:50,833 --> 00:00:52,922 WHO DID THAT? 14 00:00:55,011 --> 00:00:58,362 WHICH ONE OF YOU ASSHOLES JUST STUCK HIS FINGER IN MY ASSHOLE? 15 00:01:00,147 --> 00:01:03,237 - Man: CAN YOU FEEL THAT? 16 00:01:06,631 --> 00:01:10,026 YOU BETTER HOLD ON. THIS ONE'S ABOUT TO GET BUMPY. 17 00:01:11,549 --> 00:01:13,595 ♪ GIVE ME A HELL, GIVE ME A YEAH ♪ 18 00:01:13,638 --> 00:01:15,466 ♪ HELL YEAH 19 00:01:15,510 --> 00:01:16,989 ♪ STAND UP RIGHT NOW 20 00:01:17,033 --> 00:01:20,471 ♪ GIVE ME A HELL, GIVE ME A YEAH ♪ 21 00:01:20,515 --> 00:01:22,734 ♪ STAND UP RIGHT NOW, RIGHT NOW ♪ 22 00:01:22,778 --> 00:01:25,998 ♪ GIVE ME A HELL, GIVE ME A YEAH ♪ 23 00:01:26,042 --> 00:01:28,262 ♪ STAND UP RIGHT NOW. 24 00:01:31,700 --> 00:01:34,746 - IT WAS LIKE, OWWWOOOO! 25 00:01:34,790 --> 00:01:37,140 NO NO, MAN, IT WAS MORE LIKE OOHOOHOOH. 26 00:01:37,184 --> 00:01:39,708 NO, YOU GUYS ARE BOTH WRONG. IT HAD LIKE A SUCKING 27 00:01:39,751 --> 00:01:42,580 IN THE BACK OF THE THROAT, LIKE A AOUUUGH. 28 00:01:42,624 --> 00:01:45,061 AHEM. 29 00:01:49,196 --> 00:01:50,632 WAS IT YOU, MORAN? 30 00:01:50,675 --> 00:01:53,113 HMMM? 31 00:01:53,156 --> 00:01:56,855 DID YOU STICK YOUR FINGER IN MY BUTT? 32 00:01:56,899 --> 00:01:58,770 NO. 33 00:02:01,556 --> 00:02:03,949 YOU WERE ON THE SIDELINES. YOU SAW WHAT HAPPENED. 34 00:02:03,993 --> 00:02:06,300 I WANT TO KNOW EVERYTHING FROM THE MOMENT YOU WOKE UP YESTERDAY. 35 00:02:06,343 --> 00:02:07,736 THIS IS RIDICULOUS. 36 00:02:08,737 --> 00:02:10,782 GET OUT OF THE CHAIR AGAIN 37 00:02:10,826 --> 00:02:14,525 AND I'LL HAVE MY FRIEND LARRY HERE STICK HIS FINGER SO FAR UP YOUR ASS 38 00:02:14,569 --> 00:02:17,528 YOUR BREATH'LL SMELL LIKE LARRY'S FINGER. 39 00:02:21,532 --> 00:02:25,884 FINE. SO I WOKE UP YESTERDAY AROUND 3:00. 40 00:02:25,928 --> 00:02:27,973 I'LL CALL YOU LATER, TINA-- SARAH! 41 00:02:28,017 --> 00:02:30,019 - UNBELIEVABLE. 42 00:02:30,062 --> 00:02:33,196 - HEY, SAMMY. - WHAT'S UP, BUDDY? 43 00:02:33,240 --> 00:02:35,590 - WHAT'S GOING ON HERE? - NOTHING. JUST ON MY WAY TO CLASS. 44 00:02:35,633 --> 00:02:36,982 NO, REALLY, WHAT'S GOING ON HERE? 45 00:02:37,026 --> 00:02:38,854 I CAN'T TALK. I'M GONNA BE LATE. 46 00:02:38,897 --> 00:02:40,856 SERIOUSLY, YOU'RE NOT GONNA COME TO PRACTICE WITH ME? 47 00:02:40,899 --> 00:02:42,684 MAYBE I'LL STOP BY AFTER I HIT THE LIBRARY? 48 00:02:42,727 --> 00:02:44,990 - I DON'T LIKE THIS! - I GOTTA GO! 49 00:02:45,034 --> 00:02:46,601 I DON'T LIKE THIS! 50 00:02:46,644 --> 00:02:48,733 ALL RIGHT, WE'RE PLAYING EMERTON U THIS WEEKEND. 51 00:02:48,777 --> 00:02:51,127 THEY'RE A BUNCH OF CHEATING DIRTY PRICKS. 52 00:02:51,171 --> 00:02:55,914 I KNOW I CAN'T CONDONE CHEATING, BUT IF IT COMES TO THAT 53 00:02:55,958 --> 00:02:59,222 I'VE BROUGHT IN SOMEBODY WHO CAN TEACH YOU HOW TO DO IT 54 00:02:59,266 --> 00:03:01,398 WITHOUT GETTING CAUGHT-- 55 00:03:01,442 --> 00:03:04,227 MY EX-BROTHER-IN-LAW BILL ROMANOWSKI. BILL. 56 00:03:04,271 --> 00:03:07,839 THANKS, MARTIN. OKAY! 57 00:03:07,883 --> 00:03:12,148 A FOOTBALL PLAYER HAS 47 EXPOSED VULNERABLE AREAS 58 00:03:12,192 --> 00:03:15,282 WHEN FULLY SUITED. AREA ONE-- 59 00:03:15,325 --> 00:03:17,501 - THE EYEBALLS. - Player: OH! 60 00:03:17,545 --> 00:03:19,808 EVERY PLAYER HAS TWO OF THEM, RIGHT? 61 00:03:19,851 --> 00:03:23,942 - HEY. - SO I GOT A VERY SPECIAL PROJECT FOR YOU. 62 00:03:23,986 --> 00:03:25,553 GREAT. 63 00:03:25,596 --> 00:03:27,598 NOW SOMEONE MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE WIRED YOUR HELMET 64 00:03:27,642 --> 00:03:29,165 WITH SPEAKERS FOR SATURDAY'S GAME. 65 00:03:29,209 --> 00:03:31,646 - OH. - THIS HYPOTHETICAL PERSON 66 00:03:31,689 --> 00:03:34,518 MAY ALSO HAVE HIDDEN MIKES ON OUR D-LINE. 67 00:03:34,562 --> 00:03:36,259 - HMM. - IF THAT WERE THE CASE, 68 00:03:36,303 --> 00:03:38,740 YOU WOULD BE ABLE TO HEAR, 69 00:03:38,783 --> 00:03:42,222 CHART AND RELAY EMERTON'S PLAYS FROM THE SIDELINES 70 00:03:42,265 --> 00:03:43,962 DURING THE GAME. 71 00:03:44,006 --> 00:03:46,443 SOUNDS LIKE A LOT OF HYPOTHETICAL WORK, COACH. 72 00:03:46,487 --> 00:03:48,140 I KNEW I COULD COUNT ON YOU, BUDDY. 73 00:03:49,620 --> 00:03:51,666 THANKS. 74 00:03:51,709 --> 00:03:53,581 Alex's voice: DURING THE PLAY IN QUESTION I WAS ON THE SIDELINE. 75 00:03:53,624 --> 00:03:55,887 I'm gonna sack you so hard your-- 76 00:03:55,931 --> 00:03:57,976 gonna go in your throat-- and choke on your dick and die. 77 00:03:58,020 --> 00:04:00,501 - HEY, ALEX. 78 00:04:00,544 --> 00:04:02,372 HEY, SAMMY, YOU CAME. 79 00:04:02,416 --> 00:04:05,549 Thad's voice: WAIT WAIT WAIT, STOP. STOP RIGHT THERE. 80 00:04:05,593 --> 00:04:09,771 WHO THE HELL IS SAMMY AND WHY DID HE BRING A HOMELESS GUY TO THE FIELD? 81 00:04:09,814 --> 00:04:11,512 SAMMY'S OUR MASCOT. 82 00:04:11,555 --> 00:04:14,166 AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE DEAL WAS WITH THE HOMELESS GUY. 83 00:04:14,210 --> 00:04:17,561 NOW THAT YOU MENTION IT, IT DID SEEM SORTA STRANGE. 84 00:04:17,605 --> 00:04:20,695 - BLUE 16! - I SAID TWIST LEFT, LARRY. LISTEN! 85 00:04:20,738 --> 00:04:23,263 - BLUE 16! - HEY, YOU! 86 00:04:23,306 --> 00:04:27,223 OFF THE FIELD. 87 00:04:27,267 --> 00:04:29,834 ♪ YOU'RE READY LIKE FREDDY ♪ 88 00:04:29,878 --> 00:04:32,402 ♪ TO FEEL IT, HOW MUCH IS THAT-- ♪ 89 00:04:32,446 --> 00:04:34,839 - GO DOWN! - TOO... AWESOME. 90 00:04:40,105 --> 00:04:41,977 - AH! - WHICH ONE OF YOU ASSHOLES 91 00:04:42,020 --> 00:04:44,327 JUST STUCK HIS FINGER IN MY ASSHOLE? 92 00:04:44,371 --> 00:04:46,808 - DID ROMANOWSKI TEACH 'EM THAT? - NO. 93 00:04:46,851 --> 00:04:48,810 WHOO, THAT'S BRILLIANT. 94 00:04:48,853 --> 00:04:51,160 I MEAN, WHOEVER DID DESERVES A FREAKING MEDAL. 95 00:04:51,203 --> 00:04:52,422 SHUT UP! 96 00:04:52,466 --> 00:04:55,251 - HE DID NOT SAY THAT. - I'M AFRAID HE DID. 97 00:04:55,295 --> 00:04:58,472 WHATEVER, LIAR. GET BACK TO THE INCIDENT. 98 00:04:58,515 --> 00:05:00,604 - DID YOU SEE WHO DID IT? - THE PILE WAS TOO BIG. 99 00:05:00,648 --> 00:05:02,214 BUT YOU HEARD IT THROUGH YOUR SPEAKERS. 100 00:05:02,258 --> 00:05:04,913 I HEARD OUR TEAMMATES TELLING YOU TO GO DOWN AND YOU WOULDN'T. 101 00:05:04,956 --> 00:05:07,524 I'M FULL TILT FULL-TIME. 102 00:05:07,568 --> 00:05:10,571 LOOK, I'D LOVE TO SIT HERE AND PLAY INTERROGATION WITH YOU, 103 00:05:10,614 --> 00:05:13,965 BUT WE'VE GOT A GAME IN A FEW HOURS AND I WAS HOPING TO GET DRUNK, SO-- 104 00:05:14,009 --> 00:05:18,013 YOU'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE. SOMEBODY BRING ME THE MASCOT AND LOCK THE DOORS. 105 00:05:18,056 --> 00:05:20,537 NOBODY'S LEAVING THIS HOUSE UNTIL I FIND OUT 106 00:05:20,581 --> 00:05:22,626 WHO STUCK THEIR FINGER IN MY ASSHOLE. 107 00:05:27,152 --> 00:05:29,851 - HEY EASY! - TALK, MASCOT. 108 00:05:29,894 --> 00:05:32,462 I HAVE A NAME. IT'S SAMMY. 109 00:05:32,506 --> 00:05:35,204 WHY ARE YOU DRESSED LIKE A REAL COLLEGE STUDENT? 110 00:05:35,247 --> 00:05:37,467 WHO'S THE HOMELESS GUY YOU BROUGHT TO PRACTICE? 111 00:05:37,511 --> 00:05:40,252 - AND WHY DID YOU BRING HIM? - OH, DARRELL? 112 00:05:40,296 --> 00:05:43,299 YEAH, HE'S JUST A GUY I MET A FEW DAYS AGO AT CHEER PRACTICE. 113 00:05:43,343 --> 00:05:46,215 MAN, I WAS REALLY ON THAT DAY. 114 00:05:47,738 --> 00:05:50,350 - OH. 115 00:06:04,276 --> 00:06:08,193 - SAMMY, YOU'RE SO GREAT! - SAMMY, YOU ARE THE BEST MASCOT WE'VE EVER HAD. 116 00:06:08,237 --> 00:06:10,979 WE WOULD LOVE IT IF YOU SHOWERED WITH US TODAY. 117 00:06:11,022 --> 00:06:13,677 - AGAIN? - Girls: PLEASE! 118 00:06:13,721 --> 00:06:15,853 LISTEN, BEGGING'S KIND OF A TURN-OFF, GIRLS. 119 00:06:15,897 --> 00:06:18,247 - OH. - BUT IF IT MAKES YOU HAPPY, ALL RIGHT. 120 00:06:20,249 --> 00:06:23,818 ♪ CALLING ME, I GOTTA GO GO GO... ♪ 121 00:06:23,861 --> 00:06:26,560 - OH. - BYE! 122 00:06:26,603 --> 00:06:28,823 HEY BUDDY, THIS IS A CLOSED PRACTICE, 123 00:06:28,866 --> 00:06:30,825 SO WHY DON'T YOU PUT YOUR DICK AWAY AND SCRAM? 124 00:06:30,868 --> 00:06:34,132 - I'M JUST WATCHING. - YEAH WELL, WATCH SOMEWHERE ELSE. 125 00:06:34,176 --> 00:06:36,265 LOOK AT YOU. 126 00:06:36,308 --> 00:06:39,660 YOU GOT EVERYTHING RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU-- YOU DON'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT. 127 00:06:39,703 --> 00:06:42,314 I APPRECIATE IT EVERY DAY, YOU ASSHOLE. 128 00:06:42,358 --> 00:06:45,274 WHAT MAKES YOU THINK YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT ME? 129 00:06:45,317 --> 00:06:47,363 KNOW YOU? 130 00:06:47,407 --> 00:06:50,105 I USED TO BE YOU. 131 00:06:52,237 --> 00:06:54,631 I USED TO BE THE MASCOT HERE. 132 00:06:54,675 --> 00:06:56,633 Sammy's voice: AT FIRST I DIDN'T BELIEVE THE GUY, 133 00:06:56,677 --> 00:06:58,330 BUT HE TOOK ME TO HIS HOUSE AND SHOWED ME 134 00:06:58,374 --> 00:07:00,942 ALL KINDS OF B.M.S. STUFF FROM THE EARLY '90s. 135 00:07:00,985 --> 00:07:04,424 THAT WAS 17 YEARS AGO. THE BEST YEARS OF MY LIFE. 136 00:07:04,467 --> 00:07:08,428 NOW ALL I HAVE TO SHOW FOR IT ARE THESE PHOTOS, 137 00:07:08,471 --> 00:07:12,214 THIS SHIRT AND THIS GOAT DOLL THE CHEERLEADERS 138 00:07:12,257 --> 00:07:14,259 GAVE ME AFTER I GRADUATED. 139 00:07:14,303 --> 00:07:16,914 WAIT, YOU GRADUATED? WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST GO PRO? 140 00:07:16,958 --> 00:07:19,743 - THAT'S WHAT I'M GONNA DO WHEN I GRADUATE. - I TRIED! 141 00:07:19,787 --> 00:07:22,006 BUT FOR EVERY PRO FOOTBALL TEAM, 142 00:07:22,050 --> 00:07:25,749 THERE'S 50 EX-COLLEGE MASCOTS LOOKING FOR WORK. 143 00:07:25,793 --> 00:07:29,405 I DELIVERED PIZZAS IN A PIRATE OUTFIT FOR A WHILE. 144 00:07:29,449 --> 00:07:32,321 NEXT THING I KNOW I'M OUT ON THE STREET 145 00:07:32,364 --> 00:07:34,758 BEGGING FOR CHANGE. 146 00:07:34,802 --> 00:07:37,239 TAKE HEED, M'BOY, 147 00:07:37,282 --> 00:07:40,677 THE LORD GIVETH AND THE LORD TAKETH AWAY. 148 00:07:40,721 --> 00:07:44,289 ESPECIALLY WHEN YOUR SPECIAL TALENTS DON'T TRANSLATE TO THE OUTSIDE WORLD. 149 00:07:44,333 --> 00:07:47,423 THE OUTSIDE WORLD, THE OUTSIDE WORLD, THE OUTSIDE WORLD... 150 00:07:47,467 --> 00:07:50,861 WHAT DOES ANY OF THIS HAVE TO DO WITH MY ASSHOLE?! 151 00:07:50,905 --> 00:07:53,734 DARRELL WAS AT YOUR PRACTICE BECAUSE HE'S MY FRIEND. 152 00:07:53,777 --> 00:07:56,519 HE MADE ME REALIZE IF I DON'T DO GOOD IN SCHOOL 153 00:07:56,563 --> 00:07:59,261 I'LL BE HOMELESS AFTER I GRADUATE JUST LIKE HE IS. 154 00:07:59,304 --> 00:08:02,917 WAIT, YOU SAID EVERYTHING YOU NEEDED TO KNOW YOU'VE EITHER SEEN ON TV 155 00:08:02,960 --> 00:08:04,962 - OR LEARNED AT MASCOTTING. - NO. 156 00:08:05,006 --> 00:08:07,138 I WAS A FOOL, ALEX. IT'S TIME FOR ME TO GROW UP. 157 00:08:07,182 --> 00:08:10,185 - DID YOU SEE WHO DID IT OR NOT? - NO, I DIDN'T SEE ANYTHING. 158 00:08:10,228 --> 00:08:13,493 I WAS TAKEN OUT BY THE PILE. DARRELL TOO. 159 00:08:17,061 --> 00:08:19,542 - Sammy's voice: BUT NOW THAT YOU MENTION IT, 160 00:08:19,586 --> 00:08:22,414 I DO REMEMBER LOOKING UP AND SEEING RADON SMELL HIS FINGERS. 161 00:08:26,506 --> 00:08:28,769 YEAH, I CAN EXPLAIN THAT. 162 00:08:28,812 --> 00:08:33,077 AS MANY OF YOU KNOW, I'M TYPICALLY A VERY CLEAN INDIVIDUAL. 163 00:08:33,121 --> 00:08:36,298 - RADON, I'M LEAVING. - COOL. 164 00:08:36,341 --> 00:08:39,910 THE MONEY'S ON THE TABLE, NEXT TO THE PLAN B PILLS. 165 00:08:41,956 --> 00:08:44,524 Radon's voice: WHICH IS WHY AN INCIDENT ON THE FIELD THAT DAY 166 00:08:44,567 --> 00:08:47,352 FREAKED ME OUT SO MUCH. 167 00:08:47,396 --> 00:08:50,442 WHAT THE HELL? OH SHIT. 168 00:08:53,794 --> 00:08:56,753 Radon's voice: IT WAS FECES. THERE WAS FECES ON THE BALL. 169 00:08:56,797 --> 00:08:58,755 THAT'S WHY I THREW THAT INTERCEPTION. 170 00:08:58,799 --> 00:09:02,280 OH, HOW CONVENIENT! 171 00:09:02,324 --> 00:09:05,457 THE INTERCEPTION WASN'T YOUR FAULT BECAUSE THE BALL 172 00:09:05,501 --> 00:09:07,459 JUST SLIPPED OUT OF YOUR HAND. 173 00:09:07,503 --> 00:09:10,027 AND YOUR FINGERS SMELLED LIKE SHIT 174 00:09:10,071 --> 00:09:13,509 BECAUSE THERE JUST HAPPENED TO BE SHIT ON THE BALL. 175 00:09:13,553 --> 00:09:15,946 I HAVE A BETTER EXPLANATION. 176 00:09:15,990 --> 00:09:18,427 YOU THREW THAT INTERCEPTION BECAUSE YOU SUCK 177 00:09:18,470 --> 00:09:21,212 - AND I'M AMAZING. 178 00:09:21,256 --> 00:09:23,432 OH! OH SHIT! 179 00:09:23,475 --> 00:09:26,609 - THAD'S BLITZING! THAD'S BLITZING. 180 00:09:26,653 --> 00:09:29,307 - All: SHIT! - THAT'S MY BOY. 181 00:09:29,351 --> 00:09:31,440 THAD'S MY FAVORITE PLAYER ON THIS TEAM. 182 00:09:31,483 --> 00:09:33,529 - GREAT BODY TOO. - OH YEAH. 183 00:09:33,573 --> 00:09:35,096 HIT HIT! 184 00:09:37,489 --> 00:09:39,317 SUCKERS. 185 00:09:39,361 --> 00:09:41,276 OH THANK GOD. 186 00:09:55,856 --> 00:09:58,293 Thad's voice: AND YOUR FINGERS DIDN'T SMELL LIKE SHIT 187 00:09:58,336 --> 00:10:01,383 BECAUSE OF THE BALL. THEY SMELLED LIKE SHIT BECAUSE YOU STUCK ONE, 188 00:10:01,426 --> 00:10:03,864 OR MORE OF THEM, INTO MY ASSHOLE. 189 00:10:10,392 --> 00:10:14,309 WHOEVER STUCK THEIR FINGER IN THAD'S ASS IS A DISGRACE. 190 00:10:15,832 --> 00:10:18,835 MAN, HEY, I CAN'T EXPLAIN THAT SHIT ON THE BALL, 191 00:10:18,879 --> 00:10:20,620 BUT I AIN'T LYING. 192 00:10:20,663 --> 00:10:23,579 I AIN'T NEVER STUCK MY FINGER IN NOBODY ASS BUT MY OWN. 193 00:10:23,623 --> 00:10:25,929 AND THIS FLIGHT ATTENDANT ONCE, 194 00:10:25,973 --> 00:10:28,540 - BUT THAT WAS BECAUSE OF TURBULENCE. - LIAR! 195 00:10:28,584 --> 00:10:32,414 UH, HE'S TELLING THE TRUTH, THAD. THAT WAS MY FAULT. 196 00:10:32,457 --> 00:10:35,547 IT WAS MY SHIT ON THE BALL. 197 00:10:35,591 --> 00:10:37,941 - REMEMBER... - Donnie's voice: THAT MORNING IN THE LOCKER ROOM, 198 00:10:37,985 --> 00:10:40,117 COACH DANIELS PULLED ME ASIDE. 199 00:10:40,161 --> 00:10:42,946 ...FOR THAT PAIN TO TRAVEL ALL THE WAY UP TO THE BRAIN 200 00:10:42,990 --> 00:10:44,948 - SO THEY CAN FEEL IT... - DONNIE. 201 00:10:44,992 --> 00:10:47,821 THIS TEAM NEEDS TO EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED ON SATURDAY, 202 00:10:47,864 --> 00:10:49,474 ESPECIALLY OUR QUARTERBACK. 203 00:10:49,518 --> 00:10:51,476 I WANT YOU TO SHIT ON THE BALL, DONNIE. 204 00:10:51,520 --> 00:10:53,565 - YEAH? - YEAH, SHIT RIGHT ON THE BALL 205 00:10:53,609 --> 00:10:56,699 AND THEN HIKE IT TO RADON. REALLY LATHER IT ON. 206 00:10:56,743 --> 00:10:59,006 - CAN YOU DO THAT FOR ME, SON? 207 00:10:59,049 --> 00:11:00,921 YEAH YEAH, ANYTHING FOR YOU, COACH. 208 00:11:00,964 --> 00:11:02,574 ALL RIGHT! 209 00:11:04,751 --> 00:11:06,317 OOH OOH, RIGHT THERE. 210 00:11:06,361 --> 00:11:08,668 Coach: KEEP YOUR HEAD UP AND LOOK AROUND. 211 00:11:14,238 --> 00:11:17,502 - BLUE 42 SET! 212 00:11:17,546 --> 00:11:19,679 HUT HUT! 213 00:11:22,377 --> 00:11:23,900 WHAT THE HELL? 214 00:11:25,989 --> 00:11:28,644 IN RETROSPECT, DONNIE, YOU THINK MAYBE THE COACH 215 00:11:28,688 --> 00:11:31,995 TOLD YOU TO SPIT ON THE BALL, NOT SHIT? 216 00:11:32,039 --> 00:11:34,171 - NO, I AM PRETTY SUR-- - DONNIE, I WAS THERE. 217 00:11:34,215 --> 00:11:36,434 HE SAID SPIT. 218 00:11:36,478 --> 00:11:39,089 OH. OHHH, MY BAD. 219 00:11:40,090 --> 00:11:42,136 AND WHAT ABOUT YOU? 220 00:11:42,179 --> 00:11:43,920 YOU'RE ALWAYS SMELLING YOUR FINGERS. 221 00:11:43,964 --> 00:11:46,488 YEAH, BUT I ONLY LIKE TO SMELL MY BALLS, MAN. 222 00:11:46,531 --> 00:11:48,708 I STAY AWAY FROM ASSHOLES. 223 00:11:50,622 --> 00:11:52,320 HEY, MAN, WHAT'S UP? 224 00:11:52,363 --> 00:11:54,104 ARE YOU SMELLING YOUR ASSHOLE? 225 00:11:54,148 --> 00:11:56,672 NO, MAN. JUST MY BALLS. 226 00:11:56,716 --> 00:11:59,980 ENOUGH! WE HAVE A GAME IN TWO HOURS. 227 00:12:00,023 --> 00:12:02,722 WE'VE GOT THE ENTIRE TEAM IN A PILE. 228 00:12:02,765 --> 00:12:05,333 EVERYONE'S GOT A MOTIVE FOR TOUCHING MY ASSHOLE. 229 00:12:05,376 --> 00:12:07,988 GUYS' HANDS ARE SMELLING LIKE SHIT. 230 00:12:08,031 --> 00:12:10,338 - MASCOT'S GOT THE HOMELESS GUY-- - SAMMY! 231 00:12:10,381 --> 00:12:13,645 --NOW YOU'RE TELLING ME THAT THE COACHES COULD BE INVOLVED?! 232 00:12:13,689 --> 00:12:17,301 - THIS GOES WAY DEEPER THAN MY ASSHOLE. - WAIT, COME ON. 233 00:12:17,345 --> 00:12:19,564 I MEAN, HOW CAN ANY OF US EVEN BE SURE 234 00:12:19,608 --> 00:12:22,350 THAT THE FINGER-UP-THE-ASS THING ACTUALLY HAPPENED? 235 00:12:22,393 --> 00:12:25,745 I MEAN, AS FAR AS WE KNOW, YOU DID IT TO YOURSELF JUST TO GET A LITTLE ATTENTION. 236 00:12:25,788 --> 00:12:29,400 WHAT?! NO, I WOULDN'T EVEN TOUCH MY ASSHOLE WITH LARRY'S FINGER. 237 00:12:29,444 --> 00:12:32,534 THEN MAYBE BEFORE YOU START POINTING YOUR FINGER AT YOUR TEAMMATES, 238 00:12:32,577 --> 00:12:34,754 YOU TAKE A LOOK AT THE PEOPLE THAT ARE CLOSEST TO YOU. 239 00:12:34,797 --> 00:12:36,799 WHERE WAS LARRY DURING ALL THIS? 240 00:12:36,843 --> 00:12:38,801 I GOT NOTHING TO HIDE. 241 00:12:38,845 --> 00:12:41,848 - IT WAS A PRETTY TYPICAL PLAY FOR ME. - TWIST LEFT. 242 00:12:41,891 --> 00:12:44,415 - TWIST LEFT. 243 00:12:44,459 --> 00:12:46,548 - GREAT JOB, LARRY. - FOCUS, THAD! 244 00:12:46,591 --> 00:12:49,812 BLUE 16. BLUE 16. 245 00:12:49,856 --> 00:12:52,467 SET. HUT HUT. 246 00:12:54,730 --> 00:12:57,602 Larry: YO YO YO, FOLLOW ME! 247 00:12:57,646 --> 00:13:00,040 Thad: OKAY. GREAT JOB, LARRY. 248 00:13:00,083 --> 00:13:03,478 - WAY TO GO, LARRY, WOW. 249 00:13:04,871 --> 00:13:07,264 - LARRY, HELP! GET THEM OFF OF ME! 250 00:13:09,353 --> 00:13:11,138 - Larry's voice: BUT, YOU KNOW, 251 00:13:11,181 --> 00:13:12,966 AS EVERYONE'S ATTENTION WAS ON THAD, 252 00:13:13,009 --> 00:13:15,533 I DID NOTICE SOMETHING INTERESTING. 253 00:13:15,577 --> 00:13:17,579 - DON'T I KNOW YOU? - UH, NO NO, COACH. 254 00:13:17,622 --> 00:13:19,581 - I DON'T THINK YOU DO. - YEAH YEAH, I DO. 255 00:13:19,624 --> 00:13:22,714 YOU USED TO BE THE MASCOT HERE AND I KICKED YOU OFF THE TEAM 256 00:13:22,758 --> 00:13:25,456 FOR TRYING TO SELL OUR PLAYBOOK 15 YEARS AGO. 257 00:13:25,500 --> 00:13:28,938 GET THE HELL OFF MY FIELD! YOU'RE A DISGRACE TO THIS SCHOOL. 258 00:13:31,462 --> 00:13:34,726 NO NO, THAT MAN IS MY FRIEND. HE WOULDN'T DO THAT. 259 00:13:34,770 --> 00:13:36,728 IT ALL MAKES PERFECT SENSE. 260 00:13:36,772 --> 00:13:38,687 HOMELESS BRO WAS IN THE PILE. 261 00:13:38,730 --> 00:13:40,950 WHAT BETTER WAY TO GET REVENGE AGAINST THE SCHOOL 262 00:13:40,994 --> 00:13:43,910 THAT YOU HAVE A GRUDGE AGAINST THAN TO STICK YOUR FINGER UP THE CAPTAIN'S ASS? 263 00:13:43,953 --> 00:13:47,609 HE LOVES THIS SCHOOL, OKAY? HE WOULD NEVER STICK HIS FINGER UP ANYONE'S ASS! 264 00:13:47,652 --> 00:13:50,003 YOU NEVER KNOW. SOME GUYS JUST GET OFF ON SMELLING PEOPLE'S ASSES. 265 00:13:50,046 --> 00:13:52,744 HE WAS WORKING FOR EMERTON U! 266 00:13:52,788 --> 00:13:54,921 HE WAS USING YOU, MASCOT. 267 00:13:54,964 --> 00:13:56,618 YEAH? 268 00:13:56,661 --> 00:13:59,229 WELL, HE KNOWS MY NAME. 269 00:13:59,273 --> 00:14:01,362 SO WHO'S USING WHO? 270 00:14:03,103 --> 00:14:06,193 HEY, I KNOW YOUR NAME. 271 00:14:06,236 --> 00:14:10,675 BUT SAYING WHAT IT IS ISN'T WHAT'S IMPORTANT RIGHT NOW. 272 00:14:10,719 --> 00:14:14,157 WHAT'S IMPORTANT IS THAT YOU'RE PART OF A TEAM. 273 00:14:14,201 --> 00:14:18,248 AND TEAMMATES HELP EACH OTHER OUT. 274 00:14:18,292 --> 00:14:22,470 SO WHY DON'T YOU BE A GOOD MASCOT 275 00:14:22,513 --> 00:14:25,908 AND TELL US WHERE OLD MASCOT IS? 276 00:14:27,692 --> 00:14:29,651 HE'S IN THE LOCKER ROOM. 277 00:14:29,694 --> 00:14:31,566 I TOLD HIM HE COULD WEAR THE GOAT SUIT 278 00:14:31,609 --> 00:14:33,873 BEFORE TODAY'S GAME TO RELIVE HIS GLORY DAYS. 279 00:14:33,916 --> 00:14:36,484 - TO THE LOCKER ROOM! 280 00:14:44,622 --> 00:14:47,799 GO BACK! UGH, GO BACK! 281 00:14:47,843 --> 00:14:50,193 GET OFF ME. I CAN'T GET THE DOOR OPEN! 282 00:14:52,630 --> 00:14:54,371 - AW, SHIT YEAH. 283 00:14:54,415 --> 00:14:56,547 YOU'VE STILL GOT IT, MY MAN. 284 00:14:58,680 --> 00:15:00,812 IT'S HIM! 285 00:15:00,856 --> 00:15:03,859 - HIS FINGERS SMELL LIKE SHIT. - I'M HOMELESS-- 286 00:15:03,903 --> 00:15:05,948 ALL OF ME SMELLS LIKE SHIT. 287 00:15:05,992 --> 00:15:08,995 STOP, EVERYBODY MOVE BACK! NOBODY HURT HIM. 288 00:15:09,038 --> 00:15:11,171 - HE'S WORKING FOR EMERTON U. - EMERTON U?! 289 00:15:11,214 --> 00:15:12,955 ARE YOU KIDDING? I HATE THOSE JERKS. 290 00:15:12,999 --> 00:15:16,263 THIS GUY LOVES B.M.S. HE WOULD NEVER HURT ANYONE ON THIS TEAM. 291 00:15:16,306 --> 00:15:20,658 I MEAN, LOOK, HE CARRIES AROUND A GOAT DOLL, FOR CHRIST'S SAKE. 292 00:15:20,702 --> 00:15:22,486 Players: WHOA. 293 00:15:22,530 --> 00:15:23,923 I CAN EXPLAIN THAT. 294 00:15:23,966 --> 00:15:26,926 YEAH, SO CAN I. 295 00:15:26,969 --> 00:15:30,103 YOU DIDN'T COME BACK TO B.M.S. TO RELIVE YOUR GLORY DAYS. 296 00:15:30,146 --> 00:15:32,844 YOU CAME HERE TO GET REVENGE ON THE SCHOOL THAT SCREWED YOU. 297 00:15:32,888 --> 00:15:36,544 EMERTON U, KNOWING YOUR HISTORY OF SELLING OUT YOUR ALMA MATER, 298 00:15:36,587 --> 00:15:38,807 PAID YOU TO SPY ON OUR PRACTICES. 299 00:15:42,593 --> 00:15:46,423 BUT YOU NEEDED AN IN, SO YOU BEFRIENDED OUR MASCOT. 300 00:15:46,467 --> 00:15:48,773 YOU VIDEOTAPED OUR PLAY SIGNALS, 301 00:15:48,817 --> 00:15:52,038 OUR AUDIBLES, OUR DEFENSIVE ADJUSTMENTS-- EVERYTHING. 302 00:15:52,081 --> 00:15:55,302 AND THEN CAME THE FINISHING TOUCH-- 303 00:15:55,345 --> 00:15:59,349 ONE FINAL SCREW YOU TO B.M.S.'S FINEST. 304 00:16:13,276 --> 00:16:16,062 - YOU LIED TO ME? - NO, I DIDN'T. 305 00:16:16,105 --> 00:16:18,847 YOU HAD ME BELIEVING THAT I HAD TO GO TO CLASS TO BE SUCCESSFUL? 306 00:16:18,890 --> 00:16:22,720 THAT I HAD TO LEARN? THAT BEING A MASCOT WASN'T ENOUGH?! 307 00:16:22,764 --> 00:16:25,593 SAMMY, IT'S TRUE. YOU HAVE TO STUDY HARD TO GET AHEAD. 308 00:16:25,636 --> 00:16:27,682 AW BULLSHIT, DARRELL! 309 00:16:27,725 --> 00:16:30,685 YOU'RE NOT HOMELESS BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T STUDY. 310 00:16:30,728 --> 00:16:33,035 YOU'RE HOMELESS BECAUSE YOU'RE A TRAITOR! 311 00:16:33,079 --> 00:16:35,037 - GIMME THE BACKPACK, OLD MASCOT. - WHAT, THIS? 312 00:16:35,081 --> 00:16:37,822 THERE'S NOTHING IN HERE BUT TIN CANS AND SOME FREE-VERSE POETRY I WROTE. 313 00:16:37,866 --> 00:16:41,087 - YOU KNOW, HOMELESS STUFF. - GIVE ME THE BACKPACK, DARRELL. 314 00:16:41,130 --> 00:16:44,133 - SAMMY, NO NO. - I BELIEVED IN YOU! 315 00:16:44,177 --> 00:16:47,745 - I STUCK UP FOR YOU. - YES, MASCOT. 316 00:16:47,789 --> 00:16:49,921 - MASCOT-- 317 00:16:54,013 --> 00:16:57,277 YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND, 318 00:16:57,320 --> 00:17:00,671 B.M.S. IS MY PORNOGRAPHY. 319 00:17:00,715 --> 00:17:03,718 I WASN'T TAPING THE SIGNALS. I WAS TAPING YOU. 320 00:17:03,761 --> 00:17:06,721 I WAS TAPING ALL OF YOU. COLLEGE WAS THE BEST-- 321 00:17:06,764 --> 00:17:08,418 --TIME OF MY LIFE 322 00:17:08,462 --> 00:17:11,030 AND I RELIVE IT THROUGH MY VIDEO AND PICTURES. 323 00:17:11,073 --> 00:17:14,424 TELL IT TO THE JUDGE. 324 00:17:15,773 --> 00:17:17,732 SAMMY, SAMMY, SAMMY... 325 00:17:17,775 --> 00:17:20,865 - MASCOT, MASCOT, MASCOT... - MASCOT, MASCOT... 326 00:17:24,130 --> 00:17:26,697 PLEASE TAKE YOUR FINGER OUT OF MY ASS. 327 00:17:26,741 --> 00:17:29,048 OHH. 328 00:17:32,138 --> 00:17:35,706 COACH, THERE'S NOTHING ON THESE TAPES BUT CHEERLEADERS AND MASCOT PRACTICES. 329 00:17:35,750 --> 00:17:38,144 NOTHING EMERTON COULD HAVE USED AGAINST US. 330 00:17:38,187 --> 00:17:41,973 I MEAN, HE DIDN'T EVEN HAVE THE SOUND ON TO CATCH OUR AUDIBLES. 331 00:17:49,242 --> 00:17:50,982 WAIT, PAUSE THAT TAPE. 332 00:17:51,026 --> 00:17:52,941 COACH-- 333 00:17:55,161 --> 00:17:57,337 WHERE'S THE HOMELESS GUY? 334 00:17:57,380 --> 00:17:59,687 COACH, HOW DID YOU RECOGNIZE THAT HOMELESS GUY 335 00:17:59,730 --> 00:18:01,297 AFTER ALL THESE YEARS? 336 00:18:01,341 --> 00:18:03,778 LIKE, THROUGH THE BEARD AND THE DIRT AND ALL THAT? 337 00:18:03,821 --> 00:18:05,910 I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT. 338 00:18:05,954 --> 00:18:08,174 I NEVER SAW THAT GUY BEFORE IN MY LIFE. 339 00:18:10,001 --> 00:18:11,699 Player: READY? 340 00:18:33,721 --> 00:18:37,072 - Thad's voice: I WANT TO KNOW EVERYTHING. 341 00:18:37,116 --> 00:18:41,729 - A FOOTBALL PLAYER HAS 47 EXPOSED VULNERABLE AREAS. 342 00:18:42,860 --> 00:18:44,775 I SAID TWIST LEFT, LARRY. LISTEN! 343 00:18:44,819 --> 00:18:47,256 - THIS IS RIDICULOUS. - I DID NOTICE SOMETHING INTERESTING. 344 00:18:47,300 --> 00:18:50,216 WHICH ONE OF YOU ASSHOLES JUST STUCK HIS FINGER IN MY ASSHOLE? 345 00:18:50,259 --> 00:18:52,870 GET OUT OF THE CHAIR AGAIN AND I'LL HAVE LARRY HERE 346 00:18:52,914 --> 00:18:57,136 STICK HIS FINGER SO FAR UP YOUR ASS, YOUR BREATH WILL SMELL LIKE LARRY'S FINGER. 347 00:18:57,179 --> 00:19:00,182 - I ONLY LIKE TO SMELL MY BALLS, MAN. - SO WHO'S USING WHO? 348 00:19:00,226 --> 00:19:02,793 WHAT DOES ANY OF THIS HAVE TO DO WITH MY ASSHOLE?! 349 00:19:02,837 --> 00:19:04,969 YOU SHOULD TAKE A LOOK AT THE PEOPLE CLOSEST TO YOU. 350 00:19:05,013 --> 00:19:07,146 WHERE WAS LARRY DURING ALL OF THIS? 351 00:19:07,189 --> 00:19:09,757 - I GOT NOTHING TO HIDE. - I NEVER SAW THAT GUY BEFORE IN MY LIFE. 352 00:19:09,800 --> 00:19:12,063 I WOULDN'T EVEN TOUCH MY ASSHOLE WITH LARRY'S FINGER, 353 00:19:12,107 --> 00:19:13,848 LARRY'S FINGER, LARRY'S FINGER, 354 00:19:13,891 --> 00:19:15,893 LARRY'S FINGER, LARRY'S FINGER. 355 00:19:52,321 --> 00:19:54,758 - WHY? - Larry's voice: YOU NEVER KNOW. 356 00:19:54,802 --> 00:19:56,847 SOME GUYS JUST GET OFF ON SMELLING PEOPLE'S ASSES. 357 00:20:11,645 --> 00:20:13,516 YOU DID GOOD, KID. 358 00:20:13,560 --> 00:20:16,998 YOU'RE NOT AFRAID TO GET DIRTY AND I LIKE THAT. 359 00:20:17,041 --> 00:20:20,131 NOW THE TEAM AND OUR CAPTAIN, THEY'RE READY FOR ANYTHING. 360 00:20:24,005 --> 00:20:25,963 ♪ OH OH, THEY KNOW 361 00:20:27,051 --> 00:20:29,228 ♪ OH OH, THEY KNOW 362 00:20:31,142 --> 00:20:33,536 ♪ OH OH, THEY KNOW 363 00:20:34,537 --> 00:20:36,757 ♪ OH OH, THEY KNOW. 364 00:20:43,416 --> 00:20:46,332 Alex: AND LIKE THAT, HE'S GONE. 365 00:20:47,202 --> 00:20:51,293 ♪ I SWEAR TO GOD I CAN BE THAT MAN ♪ 366 00:20:51,337 --> 00:20:54,383 ♪ I KNOW IF I WHINE, THIS IS JUST ABSURD ♪ 367 00:20:54,427 --> 00:20:58,213 ♪ I CROSSED THE STREET WITH MY HANDS IN MY POCKETS ♪ 368 00:20:58,257 --> 00:21:02,261 ♪ OUT IN THE NIGHT, MY NUDIST FRIEND ♪ 369 00:21:03,131 --> 00:21:06,352 ♪ THIS WON'T SAVE MY SOUL 370 00:21:06,395 --> 00:21:09,485 ♪ THIS WON'T KEEP ME WARM 371 00:21:09,529 --> 00:21:13,184 ♪ BUT IT'S THE UNKNOWN 372 00:21:13,228 --> 00:21:17,276 ♪ THAT TURNS ME ON-N-N-N AND ON. ♪